Man, it's been a while.

I haven't really felt like blogging.

And I don't know why.

A lot has happened and I just don't seem to want to write about it. I think it's because there is so much I don't know where to begin.

Let's start from where I left off. Before Christmas.

Christmas was great. Lots of time spent with both families and very generous gifts from both sides of the family. I feel so blessed to have my family and Lane's familiy in our lives. I always feel like my time here is severely limited because I am so fortunate in so many ways.

I have to be honest and say that this year felt a little different for me and here is the blunt reason why. My sister and her family live close to my parents. She works for my dad and my mom (and dad) take care of their daughter often. My mom gets her hair done at the same place as my sister, they were both training for a half marathon, etc. Ok, I might be a little off in saying all this but it just felt this year a little like Lane and I were on the outside looking in. Lane and I don't have children (yet) and we don't live near and we aren't involved in everyday shinanigans. So when the inside jokes are said and when everyone knew everyone's schedules etc. it felt a little lonely. We were the out of towners. The married 1.5 years couple without anything fun going on -like babies. Now, I am not saying this to throw a pitty party. Honestly, hand to God (and God knows), I wouldn't do well being that close. I get irritated and I like my space so I am not upset that we don't live closer it's just when it is in your face -it hurts just a smidge.

As I step back and think it was a great Christmas - just a little too many days cramped up. Plus, my family I have noticed over the years operates on stress. Everyone likes to be going going going and is stressed about everything all the time; what to do, when to do it, how to do it, where to do it, why were doing it (you get the picture). Compared to them, I look like a sloth. Very very seldomly in my 26 (geez) years, have I seen my mom sit down and do nothing. If she is sitting, she is flipping through a magazine while tapping her foot or swinging her leg. My dad is always outside doing something with the yard, or running an errand. It is very uncommon to see him sitting and relaxing - except if UT is playing football or basketball or some golf thing is on TV. My sister has NEVER not had a job even when she didn't have to have one. She has a job, a 2 year old who needs special attention, was training for a half marathon, and made Christmas ornaments for people at Mia's school (and the list goes on). She is always going going going.

On the flip side. Lane's family is complete opposite. We spent the weekend after Christmas with Lane's familiy in Decatur. It was a great weekend where we watched TV and movies (some oldies like Giant, really good) and ate a lot of snacks. They are very chill and there isn't much worrying going on about anything.

I find that I am somewhere in between the 2. I don't like to be stressed all the time. A little pop here and there is good for me to get some things done but the constant anxiety really wears on me. On the other hand, I don't like sitting around for days at a time. I start getting claustraphobic and needing to get out and see what is going on in the world. So a few times I asked Lane to just drive me around Decatur to get out of the house. (We saw a woodpecker one day too that I have never seen). (I still don't know if I do the . before or after the ) - er.

So that was Christmas. A lot of revelations and there were more to come.