The Arnolds: My Sweet Nonnie

I haven't written in a while and this is going to be sad.

Today I saw death and it was really sad.

My sweet grandmother Nonnie is going to die, very soon. She has had a few strokes in the last few days and is now unconscious. She hasn't eaten since Sunday and her body is really struggling to survive. Her muscles are moving involuntarily and you can tell her heart and lungs are working very hard to keep her alive. I don't have the word to describe what I saw.

What I saw today, the best I can describe it, was barbaric and it wasn't how she would want to be or how I will choose to remember her. She was too cool, too special and too incredibly wonderful to be remembered the way I last saw her.

I now believe in the practice of, for lack of a better phrase, "putting one to sleep". We put animals who are suffering and who are going to die to sleep and feel good and ok about it. It should be the same for people. If you are going to die and are literally days away from it, what would it hurt? I'll tell you, nothing. If you haven't seen someone dying, go watch, and tell me if you don't feel the same way.

I don't believe Nonnie is in pain but I know she would be pained by the way her last days have been.

Onita Yvonne Ruhmann, born August 10, 1921, grew up in Sweetwater, Texas and went to Hardin Simmons University. She was married at 18 and had 2 children. She was a warrior and was one of my favorite people in the world. She made it through World War II when my grandfather had been doing reconnaissance missions for the 45th infantry and she had the best laugh of anyone I've ever known.

Some of the best moments I remember of my Nonnie are:
When she barked like a dog one time when I was playing with her earings to scare me (when I was little)
How every Christmas she would come stay with us and bring a whole car full of presents
How she was ALWAYS dressed to the 9's and everything matched
How she used to say she was "going to put her face on" when she went to put her make up on
How every time she would hear a tune, she would dance
How she would tickle, any chance she'd get
Her silliness
How she loved sugar and anything sweet
“Head thinker, eye blinker, nose smeller, mouth eater, chin chopper, gully gopper!” The rhyme where you touch each part of the face as you say the rhyme,
and with the words “gully gopper”, you tickle under the chin
How she would keep food for long periods of time
How she loved yellow and green together
Her red robe she wore a lot
Her cute grandma slippers
Nonnie and Poppy's bridge (the bridge that identified we were almost to their house in Austin)
How she always had food
How she would always move my moms hair out of her face
How she would get the yardstick out when Kate and I wouldn't go to bed
How one time when I was playing video games as a youngster, I was jumping around like a fool and she made me put the video game up
How she would sleep on the couch Christmas Eve so when Kate and I would wake up she would tell us to go back to bed so my parents could put the gifts out
"I don't want to go to school, mean old teacher is a fool, she's as stubborn as a mule, she makes me obey the rule, I don't want to go to school."
She loved doing word puzzles and wheel of fortune
Her organization
How she could hang anything and it would done so well, nothing could ever get it down
Her amazing sewing abilities
Making my 8th grade dance dress out of the fabric I wanted
Her giggles every time she would pass gas and roll the windows
Grey suitcases
Her cursive handwriting and how she would send random articles randomly in the mail
Her strength
"I smart fella I smell a fart"
Her cute grey hair
Lemon Pepper
Deep Freezer in her garage
How her house smelled like moth balls

There are really so many things I could go on forever.

I now know that my Nonnie loved being a grandmother because I could feel it. And she was damn good at it. She cared, and it showed. She made the effort and that is what relationships are all about. Effort. If it's not there, there is no relationship - I have had the kind of relationships with no effort and they aren't worth anything.

The relationship I felt with Nonnie was real, it was deep and no one can ever take that away from me. I had a wonderful grandmother, the best, and she had a full, long life. I am so proud of her and will miss her more than I can almost bear.

My last words to her tonight were Simple. I said, "I love you, and I'll see you in about 50 years."

I love you so much Nonnie. It is ok, you can go now and be with God and Poppy. You were wonderful.

Love,
Your Grandaughter Lolly